Анекдоты на английском языке

A duck walks into a general store...

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Got any fresh fruit?" "No." "Got any fresh vegetables?" "No. We have only canned and dry goods."

The next day, the duck returns. "Got any fresh fruit?" "No." "Got any fresh vegetables?" "No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor."

On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any nails?" "No." "Got any fresh fruit?"

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god!